Category Archives: Awesome

Curious George is my new Gym membership

Two weeks ago, I adopted a rescued Great Dane named George. I knew he’d be big, but you really can’t comprehend how big, until he’s nosing around on top of the fridge or settled in for the night in your bed.

george

There is also a considerable amount of saliva.

Long, stringy, mesmerizing loogies that dangle precariously at varying heights from his excessively long grumpy-cat lips.

It pools on the floor in unobvious places that are only detectable by bare feet.  It is also, seemingly, evaporation-resistant. It will stay there for days, still as wet and slimy as the day it was deposited. Although, this same saliva crystalizes on countertops, tables, shoes, skin… and the TV.

I had this romantic notion that Great Danes were gentle giants who did everything in slow motion with undying love and affection in their eyes. George is clumsy, believes “whoa” means “go faster”, and has not a care in the world to the frailty of my old bones as he drags me down a forest trail hill clocking 12 miles an hour.  [Note to self: Let go of the leash.]

Two walks a day, morning and night, whether I want to or not. 2 miles of pushing, pulling, tugging, and plenty of “NO!” “Stop that!” “Get your head out of there” and of course the largely misunderstood “WHOA!”

Who needs a gym membership? My arms are so sore I can no longer lift a slice of bread to my mouth. My hips have rotated out of their sockets from windmilling downhill faster than any human ever should.  My back is a twisted, knotted mess from curling into a ball to sleep on the top right corner of my pillow, which is my current nightly allotment.

And it’s not free exercise either. Much like a gym membership, there are dues to pay. A Great Dane eats a lot. I mean.. A LOT.

Then there’s the poop.  Two shopping bags full.  Not the sweet little black poopy bags you see other dog owners discharging from their pet utility belts like some dog-walking ninjas. Oh no, I’m talkin’ large, awkward plastic grocery bags. You know the kind your fingernails can inadvertently punch a hole through? Yeah, those.

And don’t even get me started on the eye boogers.

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Growing your own food is like printing your own money #plusyougetstrawberries

Ron Finley says that food is the problem, and food is the solution. It’s time to manufacture our own reality. Gardening is therapeutic, it’s art, it’s in our DNA. Children that grow kale… will EAT kale. Let’s get eco-lutionary, become manufactured-food renegades, gangsta gardeners… and let’s make it sexy.

“If you ain’t a gardener, you ain’t gangsta. Get gangsta with your shovel… and let that be your weapon of choice” – Ron Finley, 2013.

It’s time to #plantsomeshit.

Ron Finley plants vegetable gardens in South Central LA — in abandoned lots, traffic medians, along the curbs. Why? For fun, for defiance, for beauty and to offer some alternative to fast food in a community where “the drive-thrus are killing more people than the drive-bys.”

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Love is ALL you need?

Imagine a world where “gay” was “straight” and “straight” was “gay”, how would we live if we couldn’t love each other?

This incredible award-winning short film by WingSpan Pictures offers to promote social change by challenging current conceptions in popular culture. By paralleling the persecution of others with different sexual orientations or gender identities, the hope is to inspire societal reflection.  While the theme may be fictional, the events are tragically real. Only understanding can stop the cycle of abuse.

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Skinny Bitch, Skinny Lies: Beware of vegan and vegetarian agenda

skinny-lies-image

Remember when Oprah exposed James Frey’s Million Little Lies… er, Pieces? The latest New York Times best seller, Skinny Bitch, is following in those footsteps as public skepticism turns to anger at the self-proclaimed “know-it-all” author who is selling her biased opinion (along with misinformation) to a hungry audience desperate for weight-loss. (Can you tell that irks me?) I mean, the strong should protect the weak, shouldn’t they? Tell the whole truth, and nothin’ but? Who’s with me? I’m all for a good novel, but if it’s your opinion you’re writing about, be upfront and honest and let people know that they need to research what’s right for them. Don’t sell your opinion as the gospel of how to get skinny… that’s like waving crack under the nose of an addict. And SKINNY? Aren’t we trying to stop perpetuating the need for “skinny” to our young? Perseus Books publishing house should be ashamed of themselves (and renamed Cuckoo Books) for not vetting and fact-checking their non-fiction works. Gah!

Here’s an article titled, Setting the Skinny Bitches Straight, that made me shout Hells Yeah! after every paragraph. And it was written by a skinny bastard too.

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Filed under Awesome, book reviews, non-fiction, world news

If it walks like a goat and screams like a human, then it MUST be remixed on YouTube

You’ve probably already seen the video. Maybe several of them. But did you know how big the goat really is right now? It’s the top trending animal on YouTube this month. Why? Well, because they yell like humans and we have an insatiable appetite for the ridiculous. But c’mon, they’re a little funny, right? If you haven’t seen any of the goat remixes, check out this video showing how some well-known YouTubers react.

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you think I’m a joke? we’re in this together

A friend of mine sent me a link to this pretty amazing project created by Andrew Cole.  Andrew is on a mission to bring all his heroes together on one song to try and inspire the world to put a stop to bullying and hate.  We need more people like Andrew. We are children of the earth, we are humanity, we’re in this together.

To everyone out there who feels alone, desperate and bullied—bring me your tears.  Somebody is always listening.

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I will love myself despite the ease with which I lean toward the opposite – Shane Koyczan

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